Masturbation in Children and Touching the Genital Area

When you notice that your child often touches the genital area, rubs the legs together or stimulates himself or herself with certain movements, your first reaction may be worry.

“Is this behavior normal?”“Did the child learn it somewhere?”“Should I stop it?”“Could it be a sign of sexual abuse?”

Especially in young children, exploring the genital area and touching oneself is among the behaviors that can be seen as part of development.

This behavior in children should not be interpreted in the same way as adult sexuality.

Most of the time a young child is exploring the body, noticing a sensation that feels good, or repeating the behavior in order to relax and calm down.

For this reason, the first thing to do is not to shame or punish the child, but to assess whether the behavior fits the child's age and development.

Is Masturbation Normal in Children?

Touching one's own genital area and self-stimulation can be seen during childhood.

The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that, particularly between the ages of 2 and 5, touching the genital area and masturbation are among the commonly seen developmental sexual behaviors.

This behavior may be related to;

• The child exploring his or her own body
• Noticing a pleasant sensation
• Keeping busy when bored
• Calming down before sleep
• Self-soothing during stress or tension

On its own, it does not mean that the child has been sexually abused or has a psychological illness.

What Does Masturbation Look Like in Young Children?

In children the behavior may not always take the form adults imagine, that is, touching the genital area with the hand.

A child may;

• Touch the genital area
• Press the legs tightly together
• Cross the legs and make rhythmic movements
• Rub against a pillow or another surface

The child may make rhythmic movements while lying face down.

In some children, flushing of the face, sweating or intense concentration may be seen during the behavior.

Especially in young children, this picture is sometimes mistaken by the family for a seizure or another illness.

Why Do Children Touch Their Genital Area?

For a child, the genital area is a part of the body that can be explored like any other.

Just as the child touches an ear, the nose or the toes, the child may also explore the genital area.

If over time the child notices that touching creates a pleasant sensation, the behavior may be repeated.

This behavior may appear more often, especially;

• While falling asleep
• When bored
• While watching television
• When tired
• When in need of self-soothing

At What Age Does Masturbation Begin in Children?

Behaviors of exploring the genital area can be seen starting from infancy and early childhood.

Especially during the preschool years, children's curiosity about their own bodies and other people's bodies may increase.

The AAP notes that around the ages of 4 to 5, children may become more curious about bodily differences and may touch their own genital area.

As the child grows older and learns social rules and the concept of private space, the frequency of this behavior in public generally decreases.

Is Masturbation Harmful in Children?

There is no scientific evidence showing that masturbation within normal limits harms a child's physical or sexual development.

For masturbation during adolescence as well, the AAP notes that there is no evidence that the behavior is generally harmful or that it negatively affects later sexual development.

Most of the time the real problem does not arise from the behavior itself, but from the child being;

• Shamed
• Frightened
• Punished
• Made to feel guilty

because of this behavior.

What Should I Do If My Child Masturbates?

First of all, stay calm.

Toward the child;

• Shouting
• Slapping the hand
• Saying “shame on you”
• Mocking
• Threatening

is not appropriate.

If the child is young, redirecting attention to another activity without making an issue of the behavior is usually enough.

Is It Right to Say “Shame on You, Take Your Hand Away”?

No.

The child may receive the message that he or she should be ashamed of his or her own body.

Instead, calm and neutral language can be used:

“This is your private area. If you want to touch yourself, you can do it in a private place.”

The aim here is not to declare the behavior “bad,” but to teach the boundary of privacy.

How Can a Child Be Told That Masturbation Is a Private Behavior?

The concepts of private space and privacy can be taught to children starting from the preschool period.

The child can be told;

“There are some things we do not do in front of everyone. Like going to the toilet or changing our clothes, touching our private areas is also a private behavior.”

The AAP likewise recommends teaching about private space and using calm redirection rather than shaming the child in cases of inappropriate or public masturbation.

Is It Right to Redirect the Child's Attention?

Yes.

Especially in a young child, if the behavior is age-appropriate and temporary, calm redirections such as;

• Inviting the child to play
• Starting an active game
• Reading a book
• Doing something else together

can be used.

Normal developmental sexual behaviors usually decrease when attention is directed elsewhere.

What Should Be Done If a Child Masturbates in Public?

Do not shame the child in front of everyone.

You can calmly stop the behavior and remind the child of the rule about privacy.

For example:

“We talked about this being a private behavior. We do not do it here.”

can be said.

The topic can later be explained again in a calm setting.

The aim is not to make the behavior itself look “bad,” but to teach where it is and is not appropriate.

Is a Child Touching the Genital Area Always Masturbation?

No.

A child may also touch the genital area for physical reasons such as;

• Itching
• Redness
• Irritation
• Discomfort when urinating
• Vaginal or genital infection
• Pinworms
• Tight or irritating clothing

Especially if the behavior has just started and the child has;

• Itching
• Discharge
• Pain
• Urinary complaints
• Redness of the skin

physical causes should be evaluated first.

Can Masturbation in Children Be Confused With a Seizure?

In some young children, rhythmic leg movements and stiffening of the body may be interpreted by the family as a seizure.

During self-stimulation the child usually does not lose consciousness, and the behavior may stop or change when attention is drawn elsewhere.

However, if there is any doubt about whether the movements are truly a seizure, the child should be evaluated by a pediatrician.

It may be helpful for the physician if the family safely records a short video of the behavior.

Does Masturbation Show That a Child Has a Psychological Problem?

On its own, no.

Masturbation can also be seen in children with normal development.

That said, some children may repeat the behavior more often;

• When they are anxious
• When they are bored
• When they are under stress
• When they need to calm themselves

In this case, instead of focusing only on stopping the behavior, it can be useful to look at whether there is a situation in the child's daily life that creates stress.

Is Masturbation a Sign of Sexual Abuse?

Masturbation on its own does not show that a child has been sexually abused.

This is an important point that parents in particular should know.

The AAP notes that children touching their own genital area and masturbating can be seen within normal development.

However, some sexual behaviors require a more detailed evaluation.

Which Sexual Behaviors Require Attention?

The behavior should be evaluated in more detail if;

• It is not appropriate for the age and developmental level
• It is very frequent and persistent
• It does not stop when attention is drawn elsewhere
• It interferes with the child's daily life
• It causes physical harm to the child
• It involves coercive behavior directed at other children
• There is pressure on another child to be touched
• It takes place between children of very different ages or developmental levels
• It imitates adult sexual behavior in detail
• The child shows intense anger or distress when asked to stop the behavior

The AAP emphasizes in particular that coercive, harmful, persistent, developmentally inappropriate sexual behaviors, or those involving other children, need to be distinguished from normal developmental behaviors.

Can Exposure to Sexual Content Affect a Child's Behavior?

Yes.

A child's encounter with;

• Pornographic content
• Videos or images not appropriate for the age
• Adults' sexual behavior
• Unsupervised internet content

can affect the child's sexual behavior.

For this reason, especially when a child displays sexual knowledge or behavior that is far more detailed than would be expected for the age, which content the child has been exposed to should be evaluated.

Should Children Be Taught the Concept of “Private Areas”?

Yes.

Body safety education can be given starting from early childhood.

The child can be told;

• That the body belongs to him or her
• That the areas covered by underwear are private
• That he or she can say “no” to unwanted touch
• That if someone touches the private areas inappropriately, he or she should tell a trusted adult

At the same time, it is important not to constantly use expressions such as “shameful” or “dirty” for private areas.

A child learning the correct names for the body is also helpful in terms of body safety.

Should Privacy Be Provided in the Child's Room or the Bathroom?

As the child grows older, yes.

It is important for the child to learn that he or she has an age-appropriate right to privacy while getting dressed, going to the toilet or bathing.

At the same time, the child should be taught to respect other people's private space.

Privacy education is needed not only to manage the child's masturbation behavior, but also for the development of healthy bodily boundaries.

Should I Ask the Child a Lot of Questions About This?

Usually no.

If the child has a normal developmental behavior, there is no need for questioning.

Anxious and repeated questions such as “Where did you learn this?”, “Who showed you?”, “Why are you doing it?” can give the child the feeling that something is wrong.

However, if the behavior is developmentally unusual or there is a genuine suspicion of abuse, the evaluation should be handled differently.

In that case, instead of questioning the child over and over, support should be sought from professionals experienced in child health and, when needed, in child mental health and child protection.

When Is Masturbation in Children Considered a Problem?

What really needs to be evaluated is not the presence of masturbation, but the nature of the behavior and its effect on the child's daily life.

For example, evaluation may be needed if the child;

• Does not take part in any other activity for hours
• Gives up meals, play or school activities
• Repeats the behavior very frequently
• Causes injury to the genital area
• Cannot be controlled despite redirection
• Also has intense anxiety and behavioral problems in other areas

Should a Child Be Physically Stopped From Masturbating?

In a normal developmental behavior, tying the child's hands, pulling the hand away harshly or using physical punishment is not appropriate.

Redirecting the child's attention and teaching the boundaries of privacy is more suitable.

If the behavior causes physical harm or has become so intense that it cannot be controlled, the underlying reason should be evaluated.

Is Masturbation Normal in Adolescence?

Yes.

With adolescence, as hormonal and sexual development progresses, masturbation may be seen more often.

The AAP notes that in adolescents masturbation is generally part of normal sexual development and that there is no evidence that it is harmful.

When talking with an adolescent, instead of;

• Shaming
• Threatening
• Blaming

language, open communication should be established about privacy, hygiene, personal boundaries and safe sexuality.

When Should a Doctor Be Consulted About Masturbation in Children?

The child should be evaluated especially if;

• There is itching, pain, discharge or a sore in the genital area
• The behavior has become very frequent and uncontrollable
• It clearly affects the child's daily life
• It causes physical injury
• There are coercive behaviors involving other children
• Detailed sexual behaviors not appropriate for the age are seen
• There is suspicion of exposure to sexual content or of abuse
• Severe anxiety or other behavioral changes have developed along with the behavior